At first when I started writing about this topic I tried to offer something guiding… but it didn’t work. This topic is important to me still – so instead I’m going to offer my experience:
Before I had labels for what the heaviness was, it was known to me as a thick, weighted dread. It came with me, even when I was working on creating the life that I dreamed about.
Somehow, it permeated any ‘achievements’ and sunk me back to where I was before – it was a cycle and I couldn’t escape.
Then I learned something new: the answer was not in ignoring it… the answer was inside the heaviest dread. That the thing I most needed to move forward with my visions, was buried in this deep sensation. I learned that I couldn’t move forward, without unpacking it.
And so, with support, I began unpacking.
For me this was like gingerly untangling a messy, ball of thread. I had left it unattended for so long it had grown knotted, interconnected, complex and nuanced. It was drawn-out, attentive, painstaking, exhausting work.
However, it did begin to loosen. I had moments of lightness, rest & ease. Celebration. Break-throughs. The manifestation of visions that astounded me… I was finally, whole-y, moving forward.
In this way, I kept momentum, and continued to heal and grow.
I am still practising gathering up the lightness, joy and sweetness in life, to support me, so that I can actively go into the heaviness and alchemise it when I need to. To continue creating the life I envision.
Questions worth asking:
- How do I develop the courage and capacity to move between the depths and the lightness? To alchemise the heaviness, instead of avoiding it?
- Who around me is practising this skill, that I can learn from and model?
- What does it mean to work with a little bit at a time? Why is this important?
- What ‘resources’ me, by bringing me joy, lightness, and a stronger sense of self, before and in-between doing this work?
If this resonates with you, reach out (using the contact form) and we can work together using dance/movement and/or conversation, to explore these points and skills so that life becomes easier, lighter, sweeter.
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